redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
