sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize