my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I think my moral compass just broke
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
