all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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