with your own penis?
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
