I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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