I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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