Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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