can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
