Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
