He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
