I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
