Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
