I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
