Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
