just tell him i said nine months
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize