Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
