she woke up with a sticky ear
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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