weddingsv make me drug and hornr
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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