He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
