So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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