At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
