How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
