yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
