part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
