drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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