it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
They are going to name an STD after you.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Oh god it's open bar.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
