Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
