After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize