sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
