Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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