ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize