Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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