Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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