Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
