I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
