ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
