Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
