Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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