Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
