Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
