I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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