you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
