dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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