How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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