My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
