ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
