we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she peed on how many people?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
