I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Do vagina's smell?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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