Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
