He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
