naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
