I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she smelled like a LAN party
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
