i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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