There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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