I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
