shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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