PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
