Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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