Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
3 2 1 whiskey
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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