as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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