Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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