Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
