No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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