Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
